A Longbottom Tale
by greenmaiden
Summary: Frank and Alice: how they met, fell in love, their work in the order, their two escapes from Lord Voldemort and the attack that drove them to insanity. Also teenage drama in their Hogwarts years. Starting at the begining of the seventh year.
1. Alice and Frank

**Author: I do not own anything except the plot and even some of that (in later chapters) was from J.K.ROWLING **

Frank stared miserably up at the ceiling. This was going to be a bad year-he could tell…he always could. Though most people would say that that was crazy but if they knew the signs then they would agree. Alice, the most beautiful, smart, funny, and basically perfect girl in school was engaged. Now here's the catch (wait for it) Frank was in love with her. Had been since he had first set eyes on her way, way back in his first year. It was a crazy love and he knew it. There was no way she would ever like him back. First of all: she was popular and absolutely gorgeous. He was a loser no one knew existed with knobby knees and scrawny legs. Frank had nothing to loose however so he kept dreaming that one day she would fall for him.

And now she was engaged. Every dream he had had about her came crashing down on him. It was going to be a very bad year.

He had only found this out two hours before he had to leave to go to school. A start like that could NOT be a good sign.

Alice stared miserably up at the ceiling. This was going to be a bad year-she could tell…she always could. However the signs for this year going to be a bad one anyone could figure out: that idiot Micheal Legume had proposed to her. She had (of course) said yes-but…well he's an idiot. He doesn't think of anything except himself and it was pretty clear all he wanted to marry her for was her looks. He liked having an attractive wife he could parade around and show off to other guys.

Alice sighed. She was a Perywink and as a Perrywink it was her job to uphold the family honour. Basically those responsibilities included being gorgeous ( and if she wasn't-which (thank god!) she was- she would be ignored and forgotten about and-like her sister: Carol), becoming the most popular girl in school (check!), marrying a rich, and equally gorgeous husband and making gorgeous babies who were doomed to the same duties.

Most of her family were proud to uphold these duties but Alice was different. However she had never met anyone unpopular because she was gorgeous. Any unpopular person was intimidated by her so what was a girl to do? What more in her life was there for her to make her parents happy?

The popular life may have not been, what you would call, her cup of tea but at least once she was married there would be a lot less going out, staying up late, partying, getting drunk and endless: flirting, makeup and shopping. You see: to tell the truth Alice anti-social. She preferred to stay at home, (or in her room), she got abnormal amounts of pleasure out of high grades (something no one in her family had ever thought about-with all the money why would you need good grades), -to summarize Alice liked the quiet life. That was a first for her family and since they were the only people in her life she basically pretended to be everyting they wanted in a daughter.

The only person that had ever really understood her was her nanny. Nans as she called her. While her parents were out partying and being the tennagers that they were ( at heart of course- in real life they were both 32) Nans had raised her. In the whole world Nans was perhaps the only one who truly understood her. Sadly Alice spent almost all of her year away from though they of course kept in contact by owl.

Mr. and Mrs. Perrywink had a fit about about getting her an owl because in their opinion it was simply not proper (like partying, drinking, and grind dancing at the age of 32 wasn't!) bu tin the end they gave in when at a pet should the extremely pretty women told them that EVERYONE had one which meant that if they didn't give one to Alice she wouldn't be trendy so they had no choice.

Neville, as she had named it (one of her favourite names) was the only true friend she had at Hogwarts.

So now here she was waiting to go to Hogwarts and pretend she was the perfect Perrywink. She hardly remembered who she truly was: her whole life to this point had been an act.

" Alice DARLING! You must leave now to get to school!"

Alice sighed miserably before heading downstairs with all her luggage.

"Give dear Micheal a nice wet kissy kiss for me darling." Her mother said loudly without looking up from her make up.

" Yes mother." Alice replying wearily. Then she turned her back to the house and walked out the door without looking back.

**This is my first FanFic! Plz R&R!**


	2. The Meeting

**Author: Nothing here belongs to me but the plot **

"ALL ABOARD!" Frank hurried along the station platform desperately trying to reach the train.

"_Now be a good dear and make me proud" _His mother's voice echoed in his head. She thought he was popular but real- CRASH! His feeling sorry for himself train of thought was interrupted when he ran into none other then Alice Perrywink. _Longbottom you idiot! _Frank thought fiercly turning bright red.

"Err…hi Alice…wow that suitcase matches your eyes." Alice who had been struggling desperately to get out for under a head of his luggage and hers glanced up at him. _Did I just say that out loud? _Alice slowly raised an eyebrow at him. _Crap! Smooth Longbottom! Very smooth. _

"Umm….how was your summer?" Alice only groaned. "What? Didn't quite catch that…?" Alice desperately tried to get a partiulary heavy suitcase off her leg. "Err…I had a pretty dull summer. I always say summers are way over rated. I mean all I ever do is sit around the house. Nothing interesting ever happens. Though I'm sure that you do lots of interesting things-don't you? I mean you are sdo popular with so many friends an-"

"Excuse me!" Alice said loudly, interrupting his ramblings "What's your name?"

"Oh! It's Frank, Frank Longbottom. My mom works for-"

"LONGBOTTOM! GET YOUR BLOODY SUITCASE OFF MY LEG!" Framk jumped and finally clued in to the situation. Alice was buried under a heap of his suitcases. (_Probably the only reason she hadn't run away) _He thought feeling very sorry for himself as his lifted the suitcases off her perfect, curvy-

"OH ALLYKINS!" Frank could have sworn he saw Alice roll her eyes but then it was gone and she was smiling at her new fiancé.

" Alice my love, my rose, missed you ever so much!" Micheal had to fan himself with his hand to keep tears from coming. Alice had a funny look on her face: as if she was trying really hard not to laugh.

" Micheal…we saw eachother yesterday"

" OH YES DARLING I KNOW!" Micheal shouted with passion, causing both Alice and Frank to back away slightly. " It is a memory I shall NEVER forget!" Then he grabbed her face and planted a huge wet kiss on her eye. Alice blinked and tried desperately to look pleased. The train whistle blowed. " Come my darling!" He cryed dramatically grabing her hand and smothering it with kisses. "We must go!"And with that he dragged her off to the train leaving her to carry all her luggage.

" It was nice to meet you Longbottom!" Alice called as she got on the train.

_She said it was nice to meet me. Ever after I dropped all my luggage on her she still thought it was nice. _Frank sighed dreamily in a deep reverie until the train started moving. _CRAP!_ Frank grabbed his luggage and desperately ran for the train. He jumped on to the first compartment he saw. He felt himself lean back. _Oh no! I'm going to fall. It was just typical of my life isn't it. Falling backwards off a train was bound to happen sometime it was one the few things that hadn't- _He felt a strong hand grab his arm and suddenly he was safely inside the train. Alice gave him a small smile and let go. Frank stared at her wide eyed.

"Thanks" he breathed.

**Please R&R!**


	3. The Train Ride

**AUTHOR: Once again I own NOTHING (except mabe the plot)**

Micheal dragged Alice throught the train compartments at a reckless speed.

"Micheal slow down!" Alice pleaded as they hurtled through the train. Each compartment seemed to be just a blur.

"Alice DARLING!" Came a voice that sounded all too much like her mother's. Jessica Patil was standing several compartments behind waving desperately. Micheal came to a sudden stop. Alice went flying past him and crashed to the floor. For the second time that day she found herself buried in luggage.

"Micheal! Oh Micheal it is so DARLING to see you!" Micheal and Jessica ran to eachother from opposite sides of the train with open arms, completely ignoring their fallen "friend". Alice rolled her eyes at her friend's annoying use of the word darling before pushing a particularily heavy suitcase off her leg and examining a huge bruise that was beginning to form. Picking herself off the floor and following the sound of girlish squels Alice found her self outside the compartment of Jessica Patil, Amy Tam, and Kelly Somme. Micheal stood inside too enjoying the endless complements from the girls.

" Oh Micheal those jeans look awful cute on you!"

" Darling your tan is simply DARLING!"

"Alice is so lucky!"

When Alice stepped into the compartment all the girls screamed : "ALICE!" (or in the case of Jessica: DARLING!) A flung themselves on her. They all hugged her like they hadn't talked in years instead of having only been together two days ago.

Several compartments away Frank cringed at the high pitched screams coming from Alice's compartment. Even though he wished he wasn't alone he was at least happy he wasn't with them…well actually… Over the years Frank had become pretty desperate to have friends. Even a friend who could scream so loud she could break a window ( and Amy had done just that last year in transfiguration class when they had been asked to transform a mouse into a frog. At the first sight of the mice she had screamed so loud that a window broke. The incident ended ( as so many others had) with Frank in the hospital wing having a piece of glass removed from his eyeball). Any friends seemed better then this endless loneliness. Then Frank did something he hadn't done in years: He thought of something optimistic. _Well,_ he thought to himself, _at least it's a beautiful day. _Glancing out the window Frank realized just how true this was and smiling to himself Frank opened a window and stuck his head out.

A smile came to his lips as he took in the beautiful scenery. He grinned foolishly as the sun danced on the treetops and on his face. He was so caught up in the day's beauty he barely heard when a voice called out desperately from only a few compartments away:

"Oh no! My suitcase!" Even if Frank had been totally alert it would have been too late to do anything. A suitcase came hurtling out a compartment window. SMACK! The suitcase slammed against his face leaving a huge bruise. Before the shock could even register Frank heard the voice again:

"Accio suitcase!" SMACK! The same suitcase came hurtling back from the opposite direction hitting him on the other side of his face. Now he had two huge bruises on both his right and left cheeks.

Groaning Frank began to pull his head back in but stopped when he heard a loud squak. _Oh look!_ Frank thought happily. _It's a seagull! Oh isn't it beautiful! _And he pushed his head back out the window again to admire from below. The bird squaked again and Frank closed his eyes and smiled, enjoying the sound without the scenery to distract him. It was for this reason that he didn't see the seagull's business falling down at breakneck speed. That is, of coarse until he felt the warm sticky liquid trailing down the back of his neck and down his shirt.

He quickly pulled his head back in before anything else could do anymore damage to it and surveyed the damage.

It was at this moment that the lady with the trolley came by.

"Anything from the trolley de- MY GOODNESS!" The lady stopped completely and just gawked unashamedly at Frank. Then slowly she closed her mouth, turned away from his compartment and walked away.

Before Frank could catch his breath the famous ( or infamous) Sirius Black jumped into his compartment.

"HIDE ME!" He screamed before jumping under the seats.

Before Frank could even opened his mouth Sirius let out an unnaturally loud groan.

"Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh man!" He cried covering his noise. "Who didn't make it to the bathroom?" he glanced up at Frank and a look of horror spread across his face. "My word!" He said a smile starting to spread on his lips. "Oh my sweetwordofallthingstruelyworthitdumbledore!" He yelled and then rolled on the floor in squelish glee.

"Sirius! There you are! Where have you been?" James Potter walked into the compartment a bemused look on his face. "What's so fu-…." James stopped in mid sentence in catching sight of Frank and gaped. "Oh my word!" James cried in almost exactly the same tone as Sirius. " Oh my sweetwordofallthingstruelywothitdumbledore!" and he calapsed beside his friend in laughter.

_Great!_ Thought Frank. _At least things can't get any w-_

"James! Sirius!" Remus Lupin called stepping into the compartment. "What are y-…oh." He said catching sight of Frank. Then he seemed to pull himself together. "James, Sirius! Stop bothering-umm- what's your name." he said polietly to Frank while maintaining a certain level of self control.

"It's Frank Longbottom." Said Frank drearily. The laughter of James and Sirius increased. ("Longbottom! HAHAHAHAHAHA!)

"Yes, um…stop bothering Frank! Come on you two!" and grabbing both their arms he dragged them both out of the compartment. Their manical laughter still echoed in the hallway several moments afterward.

_Well,_ Frank thought to himself, _this settles it. This is going to be the worst year ever._

**Well that's chapter 3. How do you like it? I realize I probably went too far with all of Frank's bad luck but…oh well. I hope it gave you all a laugh anyway. I'm trying to make it as funny as possible now cause later there will be some drama, romance and other seriousness. So plz plz plz R&R and I will love you forever!**


	4. An October Day

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story but the plot**

So time went by. I would like to say it flew but that only happens when you're having fun and well…neither Alice of Frank had any. The heat of the summer faded into the windy rain of the fall and things went as they usually did for the two. Alice excelled in all her classes and as did Frank and no one cared. Frank suffered because he spent almost all his time alone and Alice suffered because she never had any time alone and was forced so spend it with annoying people like Jessica and Micheal. I suppose the most significant thing that happened was that the times darkened. Voldemort had began his rise (though no one was aware that it was him yet) and for the protection of the school dragons (believe it or not) had been set up around the school for the protection of the students.

It was now a particularily chilly and wet october day. Alice was sitting peacefully (for once) in the common room finishing up her transfiguration essay. But not for long.

" Alice DARLING!" cried an all too familiar voice.

" Oh…hello Jessica." Said Alice trying not to sound too annoyed at her presence.

" Darling, you will never belive the absolutely DARLING news I'm about to tell you." She paused for dramatic effect before continuing. " Darling…THERE IS GOING TO BE A DARLING HALLOWEEN DANCE!"

Before Alice could react Amy, Kelly, and Micheal all burst into the room too. Kelly who was into the lead stopped abruptly at the sight of them and let out an ear piercing scream.

" A DANCE! OMIGOD WE ALL HAVE TO GO SHOPPING!"

Alice almost sarcastically put her hands on her ears: there was no way it would do any good.

Frank, on the other hand was actually feeling cheered by the thought of a Halloween dance. He had always liked this kind of dance because most people (himself included) would go so overboard with the costume that they were unrecognizable. This was the only time of year he could ask any girl he wanted to dance and have them say yes. He had danced with Alice almost every year and they were memories he still treasured. This would be his last chance .

**Yeah I know…short and with an abrupt ending. But don't worry, my next chapter will be a lot longer…and more serious and to the point.**

**HUGE thanks to: Hoom, Nocturnal007, and Medea Smyke for your reviews they inspire me soooo much! Will update soon. bibi**


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